As he promised on Monday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert’s recent trip to Russia included a stay in the Ritz-Carlton presidential suite—“Yes, that one”—where President Donald Trump reportedly spent some time during his previous trips to Moscow. “It’s very nice,” he said. “I wore a hazmat suit.”
Now he’s on a one-man mission to find a recording that allegedly shows Trump watching two prostitutes urinate on a bed in a Moscow hotel presidential suite.—“the pee-pee tape.”
The alleged recording of Trump was first reported in January when BuzzFeed leaked a dossier about the president’s “deep ties” to Russia. It claimed that Russian intelligence has footage of the incident and could use it to blackmail Trump.
“The wildest accusations in that dossier have never been confirmed,” said Colbert on Thursday’s Late Show. He said that the media deemed the “real news” in the dossier “too salacious” to investigate—so he decided to do it for them.
Colbert stood in the doorway of the bedroom where Trump is claimed to have invited prostitutes to urinate on the bed used by former President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama during an official state visit to Russia and said,
The room we have heard so much about, and yet no one has come to check it out, I don’t know why. When you are in this room, I just don’t know how to describe it. It’s soaked in history. It just washes over you. It’s not even like it’s in the past—you’re in history. Urine history….
Any evidence of urine-soaked sheets would have obviously been cleaned by now, so Colbert did what any good investigator would do: “Hit the lights,” he said, taking out a blacklight to examine the room.
No evidence of a golden shower, but Colbert did find something scrawled on the wall: “Fake news. Never happened. Sad,” he read.